Chasing The Ball, A Poem

Lately I’ve been trying out “mindfulness” training, mostly consisting of a daily guided meditation, plus some recorded lectures. All of this from the “Waking Up” app by Sam Harris. One of the points of this teaching is to notice how many of one’s actions during the day are mere reactions, rather than something more considered, more thoughtful. I occurs to me that much of what I do when I like or dislike something is merely acting on initial feeling, with little awareness, much less thinking. This poem is a first step to break free of this. So far, this is what it feels like. —KJH

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I really want you to throw the ball

So I can chase it and bring it back

Or do I?

You throw the ball and my legs just start running

I see only the ball bouncing away

And my body has to chase it

It’s like somebody else is doing this

What if I could just say “no”?

You’d throw the ball and I’d just watch it

Then look at you, disinterested

As if to say, “I’m not doing that anymore”

Better yet, I’d throw the ball myself somehow

If that’s what I felt like

No longer a prisoner of this stupid game

Finally, the master of my own mind

But no, you’re putting the ball in the ChuckIt

My body is tensing up

And here I go again

For cryin’ out loud